Divorce Proof

We watch the TLC show, Jon and Kate Plus 8.  Seems as if the couple is going through a rough spot in their marriage.  I ran across this site that said "divorce proof" your marriage, and one of the items it said would help is a prenuptuial agreement.  That is a load of crap.  From being married over 14 years now, and having gone through many rough patches, I can give some prospective on preventing divorce.

1. Marriage takes work.  You have to do it on purpose.  You have to take steps to communicate, spend time together, and relate to each other.  A good marriage, like a well designed, well built home,  doesn't happen by accident, it takes planning and work.
2. Marriage takes commitment.  You have to say, "We will not divorce.  ever. "  when you say that to your heart, a funny thing happens.  When things are bad, you can either be miserable or fix them.  If you keep reminding yourself that you can quit, you'll experience  "grass is greener" syndrome, where you believe that it will be easier and better to quit.  Gut it out.
3. Marriage and selfishness don't go together.  Most problems in marriage arise because of selfishness.  Marriage requires a certain amount of selflessness.  We should put our needs secondary to our spouses.  This means that you guys out there need to turn off the ball game and talk to your wife, even when  you don't really care about the topic.  Gals, that means when your husband is interested in you physically, and you're not in the mood, put his needs first.  If both the husband and the wifes are actively trying to serve each other, then both of their needs will be met.
4. Communicate.  Make time everyday to talk with your spouse.  Talk to him or her about your day, your problems, your feelings, and your plans.  Just sharing your day will pull you closer together.  Most problems in marriage comes from communication problems.
5. Spend time together.  Make it a point to spend time together each week.  Even if you have to put aside time for  a cup of coffee after dinner, do so.  
6. Fight fair.  All couples fight.  Conflict is a natural, but the goal of 'fighting' is to resolve the issue, not to gain points.  Keep yourself under control, and agree to stop if things get overheated.  You're a team, not adversaries.  
7. Decide to Love.  Love is more of a decision than an emotion.  Make the decision to love your spouse, even if he or she doesn't deserve it.  Show your love even when you don't feel like it.
8. Forgive.  Jesus told Peter that we are supposed for forgive a brother 490 times for the same offense.  Forgiveness is letting the person go of the guilt they have.  It's hard, but it's required.  We cannot have a quality marriage if we constantly dredge up past wrongs.
9. You're Responsible for you.  While I can't control my wife's actions,  I can, however,  control me.  I can choose to respond out of love rather than anger.  I can choose to treat her with unearned kindness and deference.  I can choose to let go of past hurts and move forward.  I can choose to turn off the ballgame, put down the phone, turn off the computer pay attention to her.  I firmly believe that if more people would get this one concept in their minds, our divorce rate would plummet.